2 out of 3 ain't bad...right?

Today's uploading marathon started out smoothly. I gotta tell ya', it's pretty exciting seeing your book cover pop up on Amazon. Maybe tomorrow it'll even actually be available for sale! I'm going Corvette shopping!

Kindle lapped my book up like a kitten slurping cream. B&N sucked it right up too. I had to jigger the cover size for them, but even techno-boob me managed to figure out how to do it.

And then came Smashwords. Curse you, Smashwords!

For the life of me I can't figure out where I went wrong, and ever-helpful Tina over at 52 Novels...she got the file loaded in a test upload just fine. No problemo. Not for Tina.

Well, I guess I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe I'll use an alias so they won't know it's ME trying to upload the damn manuscript. Yeah, that might work. I'll pretend to be Tina! I'll pretend to be knowing what I'm doing! All your internets will belong to me! BWAHAHAHA...

But 2 out of 3 ain't too bad...and I know my team will dive in and make it happen.

Join me in a cocktail to celebrate! Freddie got his book out!

Today's the day!

Today's the day!

The gang at 52 Books have expertly formatted Ferris' Bluff for Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Today is the day I begin the uploading procedure. Having never tried this before, and with an admittedly poor understanding of all things html, as soon as I log off here I shall begin the procedure(s).

Great story?  Check!

Great cover?  I think so...so Check!

Edited to within an inch of it's little life?  Check!

Properly formatted? I sure as hell hope so!

Well then...we're off.

Off in a new direction!

As you may have noticed I've renamed the blog. The (new) Croixside Gazette will be more focused on writing and indie publishing as I have decided to make the leap and self-publish.  There's just too much new and exciting happening in the reading world to keep flogging away with queries and slush piles.

In the coming months I'll be releasing several books that I've written, edited, re-edited, re-re-edited, queried, had rejected, had sample chaps submitted of, had sample manuscripts submitted of, and ultimately have gone nowhere in regards to the big time publishers.

First up will be Ferris' Bluff. One of my babies. It's been an interesting journey.

I completed the rough draft a couple of years ago. It made it to #16 on Authonomy before I abandoned the site for a number of reasons. I kept making revisions and tweaking it and began submitting it to literary agents.

In 2009.

At the low ebb of the financial mess here in America.

I got very little joy from that excercise--a couple of comments that if things were rosier in Pub-Land the agent would look at taking it on, but first time authors and plague carriers were riding the same rail car at the time, it seems.

I put it away and started working on a YA novel last winter (you'll be seeing that one in the future, no doubt about it!). At the same time I kept reading all sorts of interesting articles, many of them posted on Facebook by Pete Morin (bless his sharky lawyer heart). The Kindle and the Nook and the i-Pad were, as reading platforms, kicking paper's ass, and the shame and stigma of being a self published writer was disappearing faster than a cold beer on a hot afternoon in the bass boat!

As I write this, the fine folks at 52 Novels are putting the finishing touches on the Kindle and E-pub reformatting (I don't do code--hell, I can hardly speel!). I'll be Kindling and Nooking and Smashwording in no time, and yes, you'll hear about it when it happens. I'm even going for the dead tree book option with Create Space.

I may have wholly embraced the e-book, but I want to hold one in my hands, too.

So check back often. As the journey continues I'll be writing about the trials and tribulations of indie publishing and keeping you all up to date on other projects.

It's a great time to be a writer!

3 Strikes...and a disturbing trend

     True to my only New Year's resolution I am dutifully reporting on the latest book I've read this year. I'm a big fan of Robert Crais. I've read all of his books. I like his two main characters, Elvis Cole and Joe Pike, a lot.

     So I buy THE SENTRY this last weekend and read it in one sitting. I thought the story was okay at first. A typical Crais storyline but featuring Joe Pike in this book--entertaining--a nice way to waste a Sunday afternoon---

     But then I got to thinking...the driving motivation in the main story arc, that Joe Pike was falling for the girl and was duty bound to protect her at any cost, was absolutely moronic! The chick was a fraud! She was simply using him to stay a step ahead of the bad guys and Pike discovers this with over a third of the book to go.

     B as in B.  S as in S. The Joe Pike I know isn't dumb, but this story kind of is.

     And then I thought some more over the next few days. The first book I read this year, DEAD ZERO by Stephen Hunter was a pretty good read, but there were gaps in logic and too many coincidences--some of them utterly ridiculous. Sure, some of that is expected in thriller-dillers, but it seemed kind of cheap--like Hunter just didn't work hard enough on the story.

     The second book this year was DAMAGE by John Lescroart. same deal--one of my favorite writers, I love his characters yadda yadda--but he did the same thing. He stretched a major motivation in the main story arc to an entirely unrealistic level. The murderous bad guy gets out of prison on appeal because his victim's supporters wore buttons during the trial with the victims picture on them.

     No freaking way is this going to happen...not in a high profile rape/murder case in San Francisco. It just ain't gonna happen. Plus he gets a former defense attorney elected to the head DA's post. Again, the writer is asking me to believe just a little too much so he can write this story.

     So I'm calling it 3 Strikes!  The first three books I've read this year have all assumed I'd overlook huge logic gaps, that I'd overlook lazy storytelling just because I'm a fan of all three writers, and that I'd cough up the dough for the books.

     They got me! And you know what? I blame it on the publishers as much as I blame the writers. All three of these guys have huge multi-book contracts, and they're not alone. The big publishers want their "sure things", and not just from these guys. They give a few proven writers long term/huge dollar conracts for a book a year in the series and you know what?  The writing is getting worse...not better!

     I blame part of it on deadlines. Assembly line writing...and someone sped up the assembly line! Or something like that.

     I think this degradation of storylines is going to come back to bite both the writers and their publishers in the ass. If Tom Cruise or Cameron Diaz or Angelina or Brad are in a couple of clunker movies in a row their stock is going to drop, their careers will suffer, and the studios (much like the big publishers desperate for blockbuster after blockbuster) won't use them.

     They call them 'has-beens' in the movies. Is the same thing going to happen to some of the perennial best selling authors in the big publishing house's 'stables'? I don't know. I ain't that smart. But if I'm noticing the dumbing down of writing by a number of authors someone else is too.

     And is this dumbing down contributing to the rising popularity of E-publishing and self publishing? I think it could be for a couple of reasons. 

     The big boys are contractually joined at the hip with their proven stable of bestselling writers for a long long time.They are demonstrating that they haven't got the balls or the money to foster new talent. The growing number of options for e-publishing and self publishing are exploding and the big houses keep trying to force the established bookselling model down our throats. Good determined writers are finding ways of getting their work out there.

     Combined with the fact that the writers themselves are putting out...not an inferior product...but a less than stellar product--I think it opens the e-pub and self-pub doors open a little more each time.

     What do you think?

Damage

Last week I read DAMAGE by John Lescroart on my shine new Kindle.

Not his best book, but it was a good enough read to get me through another pain in the ass January weekend. I think he tried too hard to make the release of the bad guy from prison plausible in a legal sense, and I figured out the OTHER killer way early in the book.

I give it a 72.

Anxiety

     Yeah, I'm a little anxious now. Not worried so much...just anxious. See, I recently queried North Star Press about publishing my nifty little mystery, FIRST MURDER.

     I haven't queried since blasting FERRIS BLUFF out last year and getting soundly rejected. (Note to self: do NOT query in the midst of a crippling recession) Still, I've been aware of this publisher for a while and FIRST MURDER seems to be a good fit for their catalog.

     What has me anxious beyond the usual writer's submission doubts is that (without giving too much away) the main story arc involves internet porn. That's right...no little-miss-goody-two-shoes in this book, no siree! Think Real Desperate Housewives of St. Paul in XXX Pay-Per-View full color streaming video.

     Okay, maybe not that intense...

     I worry that even touching on the subject of porn in Minnesota is the french kiss of death. This is the land of Minnesota Nice, not Minnesota Vice. And what will people think of ME...knowing I had to do the required research. I'm not proud of what I had to do, but research is research, damn it. I took one for the team (or looked at one for the team...whatever).

     I learned a few things along the way. For instance, did you know that it was internet porn that led to advancements in video streaming technology that now lead the way in making satellite dishes and cable TV obsolete? Within 5 years you'll be streaming all of your movies and TV shows...no porn required (thank God). Netflix is almost there with Amazon On-Demand and Hulu and a hundred others right behind.

     And did you know that internet porn has discovered the fountain of youth? They say Teen Porn--I see thirty year olds. Want to knock a few years off--do a little porn.

     I also discovered that to become 'HOT', apparently all you have to do is have big ol' jiggly jugs of silicone implanted in your bazooms. The Bigger the Hotter! And you don't even have to be all that good looking.

     Yes my friends,the power of the internet is immense. Apparently I'm not, though. Right after my research into the sordid world of pay-per-view porn the internet discovered that I am lacking. I mean, how do they know I need penile enhancement?

     I always thought I was...you know...you know...doin' alright. But somehow they know, and they're on a mission to see things set straight. Why, even a year after my research they still send me emails. They even send 2-for-1 offers. Penile enhancement cream and Viagra--package deals! (ba-dump-bump...thank you and good night...I'll be here all week)

     Good thing my computer has a pop-up blocker.

    

 

    

    

    

   

First book of the year

Okay, I cheated a bit...just a bit. I downloaded the book to my wonderful Kindle yesterday so I had a bit of a head start, but I finished it today, so it's going into the tally for 2011.

The book: Dead Zero by Stephen Hunter

Once again Bob Lee Swagger is called upon to defend the country and out-think the bad guys. I'm not giving any spoilers out, but if you like twists and turns and military speak and especially gun-speak, you'll like this book.

I've read all of White's books--a few of them twice--and rank him as one of my favorites. He writes 'guy books'. By that I mean, you won't find a lot of huggy kissy stuff in them. My wife would, for the most part, hate them. But so what. I wouldn't read better than half of what she reads anyhoo.

Many of White's books deal with the sniper culture and the Marine Corps. This one takes place in Afghanistan and around Washington DC and the surrounding area.

Okay, in the last few weeks I've read three different books where 'thermobaric' explosives have played a prominent enough role to mention. are they the new cool thing? And ain't it funny that three books coming out within a couple of months of each other feature a specific explosive?

At least he didn't have stolen nukes in it. Sheesh.  is that an overdone thing or what?

Ah well, just something I've noticed.

I give Dead Zero a score of 87.  The plot is ingenious, the language very readable and entertaining, and the end mostly satisfying. It loses points for White's reaching for a rather far fetched and entirely too coincidental way of introducing a new character to the Swagger lineage and for amateurishly concealing a tricky bit by Bob Lee that could have been played better.

Can't wait for his next book, though. 87's pretty good.